Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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