The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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