R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just tell him i said nine months
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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