don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
