Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Bring me that man meat
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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