I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
