I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
