everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
organizing the empties. That sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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