I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
