Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wear drunk well.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
