I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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