my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
