Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
