Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
