I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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