I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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