Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
