Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
