Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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