Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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