She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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