The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
