what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
