I wish I could punch you in the face.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
