i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
