I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
