You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
