My friends, they love my intelligence
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
