I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
