He is such a slut. More and more my type.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
