Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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