No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
