there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
