so that wasnt chicken after all
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
