Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
