I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
