Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ttyl tear gas
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
