I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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