Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
