You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm just crazy horny about you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
