didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
