are you so shy because you have an std?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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