soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
