What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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