bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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