Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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