And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
