Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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