Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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