When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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